I waited for you
to call me on my phone
all night long.

When you did,
you were fucked up
and I couldn’t understand what you were saying.

I called you friend.
But you’ve never been.

Come down these empty hallways
in the back of my head
where there are doors
to the rooms where you’ve lived.

They don’t open anymore.
And I call you dead.

I call you dead.

I’ll never fall in love like this again.
You made me someone else.

One of these people,
Pulling/pushing meaning
In and out of cells
harboring cancer.

Break the mirrors.
Knock your pictures off the shelf.

I never stopped you
when you asked to bring that gun inside the house

Cause I was a radio
your satellite silently circled around.

How do you know it -
That i mean it
when you say it
in my mouth.

When does the sun come up.
I’m sick and tired
of being so unwell.

Oh well.

Torn dark patchwork in the night.
A moth bit blanket blocks the light.

All of the thoughts preserved in the fear
hide inside my body where my head wont hear them,
like human bones below tire swings:
Terrible things are being uncovered.

Flight of the moth who’s eating my sweater,
Make me feel better when I’m burning up
In daylight I can’t see between stars in the sky
Who is holding the night from falling on us.

So am i leaving
Or am i left behind

Was there a reason
to dig up that undefeated time

Did that really happen
Was it all bent up in a lie
With all of my worries

Refracted beams all out there shining

Through my ornamental lights,
Twisted, tangled through my eyes
Keep us warm and safe at night
Guard our bodies when their blind
All of our lives.

I was a young girl,
Emptied of holiness.
Prayed for by a hollow man.
A cure for his loneliness.

I have been torn out of the land
By a terrifying hand.
Melted down and shipped away.
Forced through bitumen, sand, clay.

I drift away

I drift
Away.

In tanks filled with kerosene.
Fed to an open flame.

Let every breath i take
mean more than everything

that has been done to me
between the age i came

and the age I’ll leave.

Make it safe and clean.

Let it be pure and safe again
Let all the blood soak back through my skin

There will be no finishing
There wasn’t a place it was safe to begin.

We all fall into the same river
Together

Come back out again.

Even when we dont:
Broken boat bodies float.

Even when we do:
The water keeps a part of you.

Cages

We stole the Nissan, drove it off into the night.
To the garden on the mountain
To listen to hearts beating in a cage
For a while.

And we swayed on a current of denial
We’re both afraid to let it go away

So we cling onto eachothers throats
As headlights approach
And drive back home
To our own beds.

Forget what was said
Hearing voices in our heads
Instead

Fingers dive through the bodies of men
holding me down in the stairwell
They’ll take me away.
They’ll take you away.

To where you’ll sing to me
Through metal walls in holding cells

It was meaningful to me
At the time.

But it cut me like a knife
You sharpened all your life
And I will not be your wife

Until there’s nothing here for you
Anymore.

And the leaves change
And there’s no word to recall them.

And the silence frays
In the corners of the passing days

It accumulates
on the inside of plate-glass windshields.

i drive off the road

Into a syllable

That i dont speak anymore

You were the last person to know

That i was gone.

The sun is red behind the grey smoke from fires far away.
Forests bleeding into the sky

We’re all here waiting here to die in Broken choirs of Wild dogs.
Our house burns at dawn.

Stomach fillled with rotten bones
I can’t live here anymore

I’m so tired oh my lord
Paper Indian in the floor
No one here knows who you are
No one here tries anymore

Cut my hair,
take my breath away.
I have been weakened by each day
the light changed
i stay the same

I prayed for rain, i prayed..

They were born in cages
made of bone bound in leather
Filled with organs soaked in blood
sewn through with veins and tethered.

Trapped inside this body.
Feel it dying
Feel it lying

They dont really know you.
They all say what they need to.

Can’t feel what they see,
and when the do they dont tell you

Just be whatever you are,
and we’re all here waiting for you.

I’m awake.

Awake again
Thinking of you.
Alone in your head

How did I collect all your pain?
How did you break everything
in both of us,
my secret shame,
I hate what you done, it’s always the same.

I love you
much more than I should.

I wish you could be a part of my world.

But I don’t know
if you can
live like us.

Your heads in your hands

I don’t know,
now that your gone,
if you can
hear my thoughts
as I think them.

I fell asleep

inside your arms

for the last time.

The horses all screamed
out across the street.

I could hear them inside my dreams

I don’t want to wake up.
I ain’t had enough.
I wanna keep trying.

To be your friend.
To carry within.
To keep it from falling apart.

Did we say goodbye,
Was your face in my chest.

Theres someone else’s kid laughing outside.

She’s picking up fruit, that fell on the ground.

Her mother is following her around.

I changed all my words
into a chorus of birds.

Turn the tape over.

Change all my words
into a chorus of birds.

Turn the tape over again.